Intro
G# B D# Cm
[Verse 1]
G# B D#
I'm totally confused
Cm
By you
G# B D#
I'm totally confused
Cm
By you
G# B D#
Theres a ten foot man
Cm
Making my lunch
G# B D#
I'll never understand
Cm A#
I want you so much
[Chorus]
G# D# D
And I never, ever want it
G# D# D
And I never, ever want it
G# D# D
And I never, ever want it
G# D# D
And I never, ever want it
G# B D# Cm
[Verse 2]
G# B D#
I'm totally confused
Cm
By you
G# B D#
I'm totally confused
Cm
By you
G# B D#
Whisper in my face
Cm
Scream in my ear
G# B D#
Pack me in a suitcase
Cm
With the can of beer
[Chorus]
G# D# D
And I never, ever want it
G# D# D
And I never, ever want it
G# D# D
And I never, ever want it
G# D# D
And I never, ever want it
G# B D# Cm
6. Piece Of Shit
[Intro]
A# Cm F A# Gm Cm F D# x2
[Chorus]
A# Cm
I called my baby a piece of shit
F A#
She hated it, I hated it
Gm Cm F D#
Funny thing is now we both feel fine
A# Cm
She let go and I caught it
F A#
I hated it, She hated it
Gm Cm F D# A# Cm
Hope it doesn't happen all the time
[Verse 1]
F Cm
Ripping up the carpet tiles
F Cm
Greeted by a lonely smile
F D#
And the foundations seemed so solid
Cm F
By the roof was always leaking, woo-hoo-hoo!
A# Cm F A# Gm Cm F D# x2
[Verse 2]
A# Cm
If you call my name I'll come strolling
F A#
Because I've fallen in the flame
Cm
If you think I'm all that you want
F A# Cm F
The restaurant is booked in your name
[Chorus]
A# Cm
I called my baby a piece of shit
F A#
She hated it, I hated it
Gm Cm F D#
Funny thing is now we both feel fine
A# Cm
She let go and I caught it
F A#
I hated it, She hated it
Gm Cm F D# A# Cm A#
Hope it doesn't happen all the time
7. Pinball Lez
[Intro]
F G#
C Em Bm F
C Em Bm F C
[Verse 1]
Em Bm
Pinball Lez is shacked up
F C G C
With Nan's girlfriend
Em Bm
Reconditioning pinballs
F C
He farms them out again
[Verse 2]
Em Bm
The word on the street is suggesting
F C G C
Things aren't so great
Em Bm
At the St. Lucia residence
F C
Things are pretty quiet at night
[Chorus]
F
And no-one seems to be
G# C
Answering the phone
F G
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
C
The pinballs need you
F G
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
C
I promise the school-kids won't tease you
F G
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
C
The cops will understand everything
F G
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
A# Bm C Em Bm F C
The casinos are rigged to beat you
Em Bm F C
[Verse 3]
Em Bm
Lez has given up
F C
He's moving out to Stanthorpe
Em Bm
Swidden agriculture
F C
Things are pretty quiet at night
[Chorus]
F G# F
Out in the fields today
G#
No-one seems to be
C
Answering the phone
F G
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
C
The pinballs need you
F G
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
C
I promise the school-kids won't tease you
F G
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
C
The cops will understand everything
F G
Oh Lez come home (Leslie!)
A# Bm C Em Bm F C
The casinos are rigged to beat you
8. Sons And Daughters
[Verse 1]
D# A# C# G#
If I could read their writing I would let you know
D# A# C# G#
All about their records and the places they go
A# C# G# Cm
I don't get it but I see it in the sun
C# G# D# A# F
And the aerosols they use are never captured by security
[Verse 2]
D# A# C# G#
Cameras talking and the lenses are walking
D# A# C# G#
All of it's funky just to let me know
[Chorus]
A#
I don't get it (I don't get it)
C#
But I get it (I don't get it)
G# C
From the sons and daughters
C# G# D# A# F
We spent all of our money on groceries from Seessel's
[Bridge]
F# C# F#
I fell asleep in the morning light
C# F#
I fell asleep in the very first light
C# F#
And as the day had just begun
D#m F# C#
With you lying in the sun
F# C# F#
Lying in the very last sun
F# C# F#
Lying in the sun
C# F#
Lying in the very last sun
[Verse 3]
D# A# C# G#
If I could read their writing I would let you know
D# A# C# G#
Progress from colouring to outlining to piecing on their own
A# C# G# C
I like you because you are just the right height
D# C#
If I could read their writing I would let you know
9. Nice Bird
[Intro]
G# C B
G# C B
[Verse 1]
G# C B
I've got a nice bird
G# C B
I've got a nice bird
A#m Fm A#m Fm
I understand that a bird in my hand
C# C
Is worth two in the bush
A#m Fm A#m Fm C#
Understand that the bird is the word that I use
C B
To describe you
[Chorus]
G# C B
I've got a nice bird
G# C B
I've got a nice bird
G# C B
I've got a nice bird
[Verse 2]
A#m Fm A#m Fm
This world divides into people who think
C# C
There are two kinds of folks and those who don't
A#m Fm A#m Fm
Trey's got the feathers and a 12-gauge shotgun
C# C G# F# X 2
Volkswagens from the Reich!
[Chorus]
G# C B
I've got a nice bird
G# C B
I've got a nice bird
[Bridge]
D#m G# C#
There's a stretch of road out past The Gap
F# B
Where they're taking some snaps, stick to the music champ
The words are important
F7 G# F# X 4
The words are important!
[Chorus]
G# Cm B
I've got a nice bird
G# Cm B
I've got a nice bird X 5
[Outro]
A# A#
N.I.C.E.B.I.R.D. bird
10. No Rock And Roll Record
[Verse 1]
D# A# D# A#
No rock'n'roll singer is going to sing my song
Gm F G#
Same stupid words going over and over
D# A# D# A#
The drop-out turned out trashing my sound
Gm F G#
Rub the lines off the back of my hands
[Chorus]
A#
I cut my teeth on the end of my bed
F
I never ever sang in a high school band
A# F Gm
Somehow you would think I would have figured it out by now
G#
By now
[Verse 2]
D# A# D# A#
No rock'n'roll record made no difference to me
Gm F G#
No seven inch, twelve inch, cassette, C#D
D# A# D# A#
Not wasting my time on a dumb pop song
Gm F G#
Cut my hair going back to my bank job
[Chorus]
A#
The radio could have been kinder to me
F
But I never looked good on a colour TV
A# F Gm
Somehow you would think I would have figured it out by now
G#
By now
D# A# D# A# Gm F G# x2
[Bridge]
C# F F# G#
I've got a message from the other side
C# F F#
It came to me last night in semaphore
G# A#
But I can't play the minor chords
[Verse 3]
D# A# D# A#
No rock'n'roll record made no difference to me
Gm F G#
No seven inch, twelve inch, cassette, C#D
D# A# D# A#
Not wasting my time on a dumb pop song
Gm F G#
Cut my hair going back to my bank job
11. Sinatra Theory
[Verse 1]
D# Cm
I walk these corridors
D# Cm
Don't think I'm ever coming home
D# Cm
One time to be your friend
D# Cm
I killed off everything you owned
Fm D# Cm
Losing the money was the hardest thing to own
[Chorus]
D# Cm
I'm coming home
[Verse 2]
D# Cm
I had some money once
D# Cm
I hear I spent it all on you
D# Cm
One time your Christmas lights
D# Cm
I threw my body on the lawn
Fm D# Cm
I'm smashing bugs with a ping-pong bat at home
[Chorus]
D# Cm
I'm coming home
D# Cm
My skeleton falls down
D# Cm
I'm coming home
[Bridge]
Cb F#
Community radio station rock gets played in the parking lots
C# G#m
These speakers amplify the tones
[Chorus]
D# Cm
I'm coming home
D# Cm
My skeleton falls down
D# Cm D#
I walk these corridors
12. Schtum
[Verse 1]
F#
I'm remaining schtum
I'm not going to speak out any more
G#m F#
I'm gonna be quiet, so quiet
G#m D#m
Almost silent like the flow
[Verse 2]
F#
Now that you are missing
I've called the searching off
G#m
I'll blame it on the light
F#
And I'm so tired
G#m D#m
We'll resume it at dawn
[Chorus]
G#m Cbm
Floating in the water
Cb F#
The floor is far below
[Verse 3]
G#m
I'm heading for Japan
F#
If I don't get snagged first
G#m D#m
As the water overflows
[Break]
F# G#m F# G#m D#m
Whistling bit
[Chorus]
G#m Cbm
Floating in the water
Cb F#
The floor is far below
[verse 4]
G#m
I'm heading for Japan
F#
If I don't get snagged first
G#m D#m F#
As the water overflows
13. The Truth About Drugs
[Verse 1]
C# G#
All the junkies are piling in their cars
D# D#m
And the kids can stay home from school
C# G#
Got the fire sticks, got the guns
F# G# F#
We got some CDs and and some tapes to tape them on
[Chorus]
C# G# F#
Seems the bitumen was made for me (made for me)
C# G# F#
And the lines in the middle too (middle too)
C# G#
A#nd they was travelling from A to C (A# to B)
A#m G# C#
And I love only you
[Verse 2]
C# G# C# G#
We gotta stop at a chemist I know
F# G# Fm A#m
And that's the last of the car lighter
C# G# C# G#
I got a headache and my headache won't go
F# G# F Cb
Were only eating places truck drivers go
[Chorus]
C# G# F#
Seems the bitumen was made for me (made for me)
C# G# F#
And the lines in the middle too (middle too)
C# G#
A#nd they was travelling from A to C (A# to B)
A#m G# C#
And I love only you
[Outro]
C# G# A#m G#
This is called the truth about drugs
C# G# A#m G#
(This is called the truth about drugs)
C# G# A#m G#
This is called the truth about drugs
C# G# A#m G# F#
(This is called the truth about drugs)
14. Music Is Crap
[Verse 1]
C# G# F# C#
Red eyes blue gaze, you look like hell today
G# F# C#
Step out on parade, you do it so well
G# F# C#
Your favourite shirt, those shoes that you bought in Perth
G# F# C#
Dumb Hair smart slacks, that's rock apparel
[Chorus]
F#
(Ahhhhhh)
C# F# C# F#
Music is crap aliens told me so
C# F# C# F#
Better than that, were gonna let you know
C# F# C# F#
Just listen up, become a receiver
C# F# G#
And then space out, when you're a believer
F#
That's what religion's for
C# F# C# F#
Music is crap
[Verse 2]
C# G# F# C#
Think of your friends, then put one on the door
G# F# C#
Everythings free, but were still poor
F# C#
Don't matter what you like, aliens hate it
F# G#
Rock, pop, metal, shop, they just berate it
F#
And I've found
G# F#
They dig the silence, hate the sound
G# F#
So pick up your telescopes, put your guitars down
G#
That's what I've found..
[Chorus]
C# F# C# F#
Music is crap aliens told me so
C# F# C# F#
Better than that, were gonna let you know
C# F# C# F#
Just listen up, become a receiver
C# F# G#
And then space out, when you're a believer
F#
That's what religion's for
C# F# C# F#
Music is crap
C# F# C# F#
Music is crap
C# F# C# F#
Music is crap
C# F# C# F#
Music is crap
15. The Drum
[Verse 1]
D# A# D# A#
After the show yeah we have to go
D G
You don't like it, I don't like it
D# A# D# A#
Write me a note about all of the folks
D G A#
You have lied to, and you've sold to
[Chorus]
C C# G#
Has anybody seen my guitar and case
D A
'Cos it seems out of place
F C D
Won't you be so kind to find it?
C# G#
I had my amp there as well
D A
But I think that it fell
F C D
Left to the stage right behind it
We won't find it
[Verse 2]
D# A# D# A#
Just like the blow that went right to your head
D G
You don't show it. You don't show it
D# A# D# A#
Now off to the station we had to go
D A
You don't like it, no you don't like it
[Chorus]
C C# G#
Has anybody seen my guitar and case
D A
'Cos it seems out of place
F C D
Won't you be so kind to find it?
C# G#
I had my amp there as well
D A
But I think that it fell
F C D
Left to the stage right behind it
D
We won't find it
D
I don't like it
[Bridge]
G G#
Guitar and case, yeah!
C D# G
(Woah!)
G#
Not in its place, yaaargh!
C D# G
(Woah!)
G#
My amp's there as well!
C D# G
(Woah!)
G#
I think that it fell, yeah, yeah!
C D#
(Woah!)
[Verse 3]
D# A# D# A#
After the show yeah we have to go
D G
You don't like it, I don't like it
D# A# D# A#
Write me a note about all of the folks
D G A#
You have lied to, and you've sold to
[Chorus]
C C# G#
Has anybody seen my guitar and case
D A
'Cos it seems out of place
F C D
Won't you be so kind to find it?
C# G#
I had my amp there as well
D A
But I think that it fell
F C D
Left to the stage right behind it
D
We won't find it
D
No you don't like it, like it, like it
[Outro]
G G#
Guitar and case, yeah!
C D# G
(Woah!)
G#
Not in its place, yaaargh!
C D# G
(Woah!)
G#
My amp's there as well!
C D# G
(Woah!)
G#
I think that it fell, yeah, yeah!
C D#
(Woah!)
C A#
Off the stage, yeah
C D#
Off the stage, yeah
C A#
Off the stage, yeah
C G
16. Eight Years Of Rock And Roll Has Completley Destroyed My Memory
[Verse 1]
A# F Gm D#
I've got no memories
Dm A#
Oooh that's what I need
F Gm D#
I've got no past or yesterdays
Dm Cm
Memories is what I need
Dm A# F D# F
But these memories are made for speed
[Verse 2]
A# F Gm D#
I've forgot this morning
Dm A#
Forgot this evening too
F Gm D#
I'll have to beg your pardon
Dm Cm
Your name starts with a Q
Dm A# F D#
Oh no it's something I've missed
F A# D# A#
My memory's missed
[Bridge]
D# A# G#
I understand about your tan
D# A# G#
So let me sleep tonight
D#
If there's a song in my throat
A# G#
Guess it's something I ate
D# A# G#
I guess must be throwing up
C# A#m
So kiss me
C# A#m
And make me believe
C# A#m
In ideologies
C# A#m
And the streets of sesame
A#
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh wah!
D#m A#m Cm G# Gm D#
[Verse 3]
A# F Gm D#
I've got a good idea
Dm A#
To write my memories down
F Gm D#
Then I'll have nothing to fear
Dm Cm
When mine lets me down
Dm D
I'll find names and addresses on paper on the ground
D# A#
I'm good with faces, no good with names
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