C G
Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Am F
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
C G
and started whoopin her ass worse than before
Am F
they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
C G
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
Am F
he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
C G
And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!
Am F
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
C G
Feminist women love Eminem
Am
chigga chigga chigga
F
"Slim Shady, I'm sick of him look at him,
C G
Walkin' around grabbin' his you-know-what
Am F
Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
C G
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
Am F
But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
C G Am
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
F
but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
C G
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
Am F
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
C G
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
Am F
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
C G
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
Am
By the time they hit fourth grade
F
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
C G Am
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
F
who cut other people open like cantaloupes [SLURP]
C G
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Am F
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
C G
[*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Am F
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
[Chorus: Eminem] (x2)
C G
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
Am F
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
C G
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Am F
please stand up, please stand up?
C G
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
Am F
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
C G
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Am F
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
C G
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Am F
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
C G
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Am F
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
C G
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
Am F
and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
C G
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
Am F
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
C G
I should download her audio on MP3
Am F
and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD [AHHH!]
C G Am
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
F
so I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]
C G
And there's a million of us just like me
Am F
who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
C G
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
Am F
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!
[Chorus: Eminem] (x2)
C G
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
Am F
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
C G
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Am F
please stand up, please stand up?
C G
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
Am F
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
C G
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
Am F
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
C G
I just get on the mic and spit it
Am F
and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just shit it
C G
better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Am F
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
C G
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
Am F
I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
C G
Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens
Am F
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
C G
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
Am F
He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
C G
[*HACH*] Or in the parkin lot, circling
Am
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
F
with his windows down and his system up
C G
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
Am F
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
C G
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
Am F
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
[Outro]
C G
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
Am F
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
C G
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Am F
please stand up, please stand up?
C G
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
Am F
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
C G
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Am F
please stand up, please stand up?
Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up
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