E B
Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
C#m A
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
E B
and started whoopin her ass worse than before
C#m A
they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
E B
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
C#m A
he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
E B
And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!
C#m A
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
E B
Feminist women love Eminem
C#m
chigga chigga chigga
A
"Slim Shady, I'm sick of him look at him,
E B
Walkin' around grabbin' his you-know-what
C#m A
Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
E B
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
C#m A
But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
E B C#m
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
A
but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
E B
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
C#m A
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
E B
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
C#m A
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
E B
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
C#m
By the time they hit fourth grade
A
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
E B C#m
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
A
who cut other people open like cantaloupes [SLURP]
E B
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
C#m A
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
E B
[*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
C#m A
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
[Chorus: Eminem] (x2)
E B
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
C#m A
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
E B
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
C#m A
please stand up, please stand up?
E B
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
C#m A
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
E B
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
C#m A
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
E B
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
C#m A
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
E B
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
C#m A
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
E B
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
C#m A
and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
E B
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
C#m A
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
E B
I should download her audio on MP3
C#m A
and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD [AHHH!]
E B C#m
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
A
so I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]
E B
And there's a million of us just like me
C#m A
who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
E B
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
C#m A
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!
[Chorus: Eminem] (x2)
E B
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
C#m A
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
E B
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
C#m A
please stand up, please stand up?
E B
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
C#m A
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
E B
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
C#m A
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
E B
I just get on the mic and spit it
C#m A
and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just shit it
E B
better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
C#m A
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
E B
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
C#m A
I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
E B
Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens
C#m A
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
E B
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
C#m A
He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
E B
[*HACH*] Or in the parkin lot, circling
C#m
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
A
with his windows down and his system up
E B
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
C#m A
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
E B
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
C#m A
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
[Outro]
E B
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
C#m A
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
E B
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
C#m A
please stand up, please stand up?
E B
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
C#m A
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
E B
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
C#m A
please stand up, please stand up?
Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up
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